Monday, November 7, 2011

Public Service

Guide to reading newspapers and campaign flyers.
Translations of Common Euphemisms
Arsenal of Weapons
Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands
Undocumented Worker
Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials
Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery
Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed
Taxes or Your Fair Share
Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control
Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives
Fireworks or Stump Removal
Non-viable Tissue Mass
Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity
Multicultural Community
High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress
Upper Class or "The Rich "
Progressive, Change
Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged
Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle
Scoped Deer Rifle
Investment For the Future
Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform
Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater
Victim or Oppressed
Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine
Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot
Reintroduced Wolves
Sheep and Elk Killers
Fair Trade Coffee
Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich "
Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby
NRA Members
Assault Weapon
Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus
New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage
Legalized Perversion
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting
Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs
Accepted Facts
Horse Manure

Words that may have been offensive to some were changed.

"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."       Samuel Adams

No comments:

Post a Comment